Earlier today I was nauseous and unable to breathe. I finally bit the bullet and emailed Ginny. Not only did she say that she was okay just telling me and not both of us if she gets a BFP, but she said it was okay for me to change my mind again. Have I mentioned lately how much I love her?
As I was emailing her I realized that last cycle I spent lots of time focusing my energy on Sprout, willing him to grow, yet I was very relaxed. This time I am "more laid back" and "don't obsess" about Paul and Barney and I am a nauseous hyperventaliting mess. Hmm. After I made this realization I picked up my framed photo of Paul and Barney and willed them to grow. Within minutes I was taking nice deep breaths that would have been impossible earlier in the day. I spent the rest of the day feeling like a human being.
So wait a minute. If I tell people what I want and focus my energy on what I want rather than trying to bury it deep inside me I will fell BETTER? Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did it take me nearly 40 years so figure that out?!?!?!?!??!?!
Lesson learned. For now at least.
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